Un planned pregnancy – medical abortion?
I recently found out I was 4 weeks pregnant with an un planned pregnancy. I am in a very stable and loving relationship with a truly devoted and loyal boyfriend. Although my boyfriend and I had discussed having children in the future we feel that now is really not the right time. He recently lost his job and we are currently living off my salary. I work in a stressful environment, long hours and am currently working at establishing my career that I have devoted my life too. I am 27 and he is 30 and I know people have their children younger and older but every one is different.
We have very strong opinions of how a child should be raised and we are worried we could not provide everything entirely as we would have hoped too or could in the future.We also currently live seperate homes and are planning to move in with each other this year. But with the tricky job market this may have to be put on hold for a while until my boyfriend returns to work – as moving homes and into a place big enough is expensive business.
We decided to discuss all of the options and went to an abortion clinic, during the scan nothing was seen. We were told either its too soon (the foetus is too small) or it could be an etopic – although she said this unlikely as I dont have any symptoms. We have been told to come back in a weeks time by that stage they should be able to see something. After sleepless nights, tears and discussions we decided to make the decision that if we could go ahead with a medical abortion we would but if it meant surgery then we would not go ahead.We were advised by our doctor that if we did go down the medical route that our chances of having a baby in the future would not be harmed but surgery could be risky. What do you think of our predicament? What’s the recovery after a medical abortion?
Thank you for all your comments – varied as they are it’s good to get a wide perspective.
Could I please have answers from people with no extremist religious belief’s that would be more helpful.
Ps: In Europe a medical abortion = the pill in the US: Medical = Surgery
Best answer:
Answer by anonymous
it’s not my decision, but at 27 and 30, you guys should be more responsible to prevent pregnancy or to take the responsiblilty of being a parent…
HOWEVER, I do understand your situation and I guess if you aren’t ready to be a parent, you might as well prevent from being unhappy parents to an innocent child. A medical abortion has a long recovery time and is absolutely harmful and can prevent future pregnancies. Did you ask them about the abortion pill that stops the pregnancy this early so you don’t have to suffer from a surgical abortion? I think that would be a better and less invasive option. Good luck and hope everything works out for you.
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Personally, I think you should give birth to the baby for a loving family to adopt as opposed to abortion. Having said that, the recovery period is 2-4 weeks but it can take 6 months to a year for your hormonal balance to return to normal so that you feel “normal” again.
Good luck!
There is no excuse for you to be getting an abortion.
This is not the best place to to ask this question! there are so many women on here trying to get pregnant or are pregnant or just had a baby.
I am a pro choice person. I could never take someone’s right away to have one. But, I also could never tell someone to get one. The way I see it, the 2 of you messed up and got pregnant. That baby did nothing, you did it. A baby has a heart beat at 6 weeks along.
You are both old enough and you do have a job. He has lots of time to get a new one. I think you should keep the baby. Don’t just think about the inconvenience now, also think about what that baby is. You two made it, that is your child. Girls have babies while in high school all the time, you are done with school and have a stable relationship. To me, the only reason you would be having an abortion is because you are viewing this pregnancy as an inconvenience and that is not a good enough reason.
I have to be honest and hope i don’t sound harsh. So basically you want to kill this baby because you don’t think you can provide what it needs. Wow ironic don’t you think. I am pregnant and happen to be blessed. my husband has a job so we do have two incomes. but mine is nothing. Also I had to take a leave of absence from school and i LOVE my school to know tack on another year! Not to mention that 3 weeks after I have my baby I have to go back to my radiology program which is mon – fri 8 am until 4 pm. THIS WONT BE EASY! I could have said what an inconvenience and killed my child but i chose to suck it up. You had sex, you got pregnant and now you want to kill it because it doesn’t work out for you.. You also need to do more Research. Do you know how many women have had serious and fatal complications from abortions. Come on.. You sound like a smart lady. You will regret this..
i have had a tubal pregnancy 9 months ago…it is rough, but I personally do no feel that ANYONE should get an abortion. If you are in fact having a tubal there is a chemo theory based shot they can give you to dissolve the pregnancy. I think you need to be responsible and not just think of yourselves. You chose to put yourself in the position to get pregnant now deal with it. You are 27…you should know how to stop this…my suggestion go to your OB not an abortion clinic…and give the baby up for adoption.
Any abortion at any stage is never a good option. That decision will haunt you the rest of your lives. You have already experienced tears and restless nights just over this predicament, can you imagine the tears and restless nights you would have after making the decision to murder your own baby? Adoption is always a better answer if you don’t see that you can care for this child right now. Try researching this issue with others that have chosen abortion. Everyone I know that took that road has regretted it and it is something you can never change once it is done. We have to live with our choices. Please give this much thought and prayer.
God bless you.
I know people who have had abortions and have been trying to get pregnant and it’s not happening. I too had an unplanned pregnancy. I’m only 19, in college, single, jobless, and 35 weeks pregnant…but I’m willing to do what it takes to keep this baby. Anybody is capable of keeping their baby in my opinion, it’s just a matter if you want to put in the effort or not. Don’t take your mistake of having unprotected sex out on the baby. I used to be pro-choice, but pregnancy has changed my whole perspective on abortion.
i thought a medical abortion was just a quick routine thing – no anasthetic or anything. i had it done at 5 weeks and it was ok. not the best thing in the world obviously, it was like a smear test, but the staff were great and i know it was for the best so i have no regrets. now a few years on my relationship is more stable im now pregnant, no problems. and you dont have to tell the midwife or doctors that youve had one either as it does not effect your ability to get pregnant later on in life.
yahoo answers will always have a real mixture of people so you wont get the most reliable answers as they get too emotional so instead, talk to marie stopes – if you go to their site and find ‘online counselling’ you can talk live to someone with all your questions. good luck!!
by the way i think the medical is a lot more easier to deal with than the pill method. At least with the medical youre back to normal straight away.
DONT feel guilty. dont let anyone try to change your mind. you are doing what feels right for you and your man and thats what matters. if you dont feel ready then youre not.
If it’s ectopic, surgery is a must to preserve your fallopian tube. Surgical abortions are very safe, as long as they are preformed by a skilled and licensed physician there is very, very little chance of risk that could lead to infertility. The bottom line is that when an abortion has been conducted; legally, safely, professionally and providing there are no complications arising from it, there is no significant risk to the future fertility of the woman involved. A properly performed abortion will not affect the woman’s fertility.
A scientific review article in the International Journal of Fertility and Menopausal Studies concluded that legal induced abortions have almost no chance of infertility when done in the first or second trimester.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/abo_infe.htm
An pill or medical abortion is just like having a miscarriage. You will pass blood, clots and some tissue. Most miscarriage are accompanied by strong cramping. Your cervix will dilated a bit and uterine contractions will force you to pass the pregnancy. It took me just a day or two to recover then I was back to unpacking my house (we had just moved) and moving in. I curled up with a heating pad, some acetaminophen with codeine and slept throughout my recovery. In a couple of days my bleeding was period like and ‘normal’, it took me two weeks to completely stop bleeding.
It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do. Other women’s stories about their abortions and their choice to not regret it. ImNotSorry.net
If you have any more questions or want/need to talk about it drop me an email.
~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion and I have a 17 month old daughter . I believe in protecting my daughter’s choice.
Abortion: There is a Consensus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo